These Times! My Self and My Family

These times – my self and my family. Now that we are settled down a bit and got used to being at home we have time on our hands to reflect upon ourselves as human beings. We have the God given opportunity to think about ourselves as individuals, as personalities and how well we fit into each role in our lives, such as in the role of a family member, employee or a business man or entrepreneur, a neighbour, as citizens. Constant change for improvement is important and these are times for reflection, identification and improvements in all spheres of life. How precious life is evident from the fact that all of us are tucked at home, willingly or unwillingly. For any kind of change first thing is to put focus on ourselves as individuals. We have tried to lay down a simple protocol for those willing to take this journey and improve upon their quality of life. The tone and tenor of this note silently stresses upon the fact that mental health is far more important than physical health. Most battles with life are settled in the mind and here is where we start.

To begin with we can kick start the whole process by executing 5-6 steps one after the other in a sequence. Gyan and knowledge is enough in quantity and available everywhere but friends our problem lies in execution. We need to therefore gather the will to just start. Remember all great things happen very simple and stepwise. To climb a mountain, the first step you take begins from home and not from the mountain top. Therefore the first step we suggest is meditating daily in the morning for 5-10 minutes. This is necessary to reshape and sharpen up the mind. The brain needs to be rid of it’s lethargy and stupor. Doing it is very simple and uncomplicated and our objective is to ignite the brain into focus, concentration and become introspective in nature.
So meditation can be done anytime of the day where ever you feel is comfortable in the house. Try choosing places in the house which are quite and undisturbed.

How to meditate- Fold your legs and sit in cross legged position with hands on folded knees. Close eyes and look. You will see colours and visions that the closed eyes show you. Various patterns are formed just as if staring into space. Could be a blank screen as well. Keep looking and then gradually start fixating your gaze on a particular spot, colour, pattern of your choice. This is the visual part of meditation and may take several sittings. Do not try to control your mind. Let random thoughts flow. Mind is like a child, from one thing to another. After it is tired of running gradually start controlling your thoughts. Focus on one thread of thought and it should be linked with the visual your closed eyes are showing you. From randomness a linkage will self appear. Try to think what you seeing and keep concentrating on it. One sitting can be from five minutes initially to 15 minutes or half an hour daily or small sittings dailymorning and evening.
Focus, power of concentration, decision making, resolve, discipline are the powers of the mind that we are trying to evoke by this routine. These start developing gradually. Once you are you mentally ready to think of an issue with focus and clarity and you feel an invigorating mental energy in yourself you are ready to migrate to step 2.
Meditation can go on daily simultaneously with normal day to day life. We need to evaluate our traits and habits to start the self analysis stage. We can rate ourselves on a scale of 0-10 on each parameter linked to our thought process, behaviour and can be used to self evaluate on various parameters of our lives, within family, work life and as citizens. Here we discuss family first. Apart from self evaluation we can also take feedback from immediate family members and a clear picture can emerge. Parameters can be compassion, bonding, communication within the family and most of all taking feedback on what the family expects you to do better upon. All those parameters on which you score less than five on the scale need to be pondered upon and a conscious self improvement plan can be initiated. The same exercise can be done by each family member. Extensive use of a diary and pen can be done to note down the findings. There are many individual related questions that can be self asked. For example what are my values, how selfish or self-centred am I, how sensitive am I towards others, am I a good listener, do I solve other’s problems and help each one to overcome their issues, how much time am I actually giving to others around me, how much do I indulge with each family member, have I created a value based system in the house which includes matters of discipline, lead by example setting, hygiene, both personal and house related, are duties of each other clearly defined, do I patiently councel others on evident issues or problems.
Pertaining to the future now it is certain that rules and standards of money interactions will change. Sagacious spending, more saving, valuing each penny in hand, collective responsibility of each member to contribute towards financial family viability need to be prioritised within a family group and repeatedly instilled till it starts showing results. Greater resolve, self discipline, system of rechecks built in within our thought processes now become the need of the hour. A stronger person better equipped with more discipline shall be the survivor in times to come. Gone are times of chasing meaningless dreams, living an unhealthy and pointless day to day life. We need to evolve as better models of ourselves and be survivors enjoying a better quality of life.
For example a husband may have to quit smoking not entirely because it causes cancer but because cigarettes are very expensive and calculated over a period of time amount to incredible amounts spent. A wife may have to question her spends on each item. Each spend needs to be categorised within two spheres. Must need item and luxury item. Collective endeavour needs to be to contract the luxury sphere as much as possible.
We as humans have responsibility towards ourselves and to the system around us. With changing times prioritisation of values becomes relevant. Now it’s not so cool to smoke a cigarette and throw the stub on the ground. We can give something back to the system by reaching out politely to others we see doing it too. All in all the lethargy and laziness in our thoughts and life and couldn’t care less attitude will not work anymore. The laws of nature have taken a shift my friends and we need to adjust. There are no more shortcuts or options of ignorance or feigning ignorance. Let’s all wake up. Reinvent and renovate ourselves. Now or never!

#lifeahead #Familyvalues #selfimprove #life #meditation

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